Valentine Jon Stuhltrager
He was born three weeks before the stock market crash that signaled the
start of the Great Depression. They named him Valentine Jon Stuhltrager after
his father and his father’s father and perhaps several other extending back.
His parents, Valentine and Mariam brought him home to their row house in West
Philadelphia. His father was of German descent while Mariam was of Swedish
stock. They lived in what was then a middle class section of the city and
though they were catholic the neighborhood was primarily Jewish. In fact, one
of Val’s, as he would be called, jobs would be to turn off the lights at the
synagogue after sundown on Friday as the Jewish faith did not permit them to
handle such matters during their Sabbath. The rabbi, who also could not handle
money after sundown, would leave the nickel on a ledge near the lights for Val
to retrieve.
Two years after Val was born a brother Billy arrived. Their home was
comfortable and they did not experience the worst ravages of the Depression.
The household was stable and consistent though outward displays of affection or
emotion were rare. Whether or was genetic, ethnic or something else, it was a
trait that Val held throughout his life.
He was a studious and industrious boy who earned good grades and never
caused any problems.
When he was a young teen the family moved across the Delaware River to
Gloucester City, New Jersey. The opening of the Benjamin Franklin Bridge in
1930 which spanned the Delaware River from Philadelphia to Camden began what
would become a flood of people moving from the city. Their new home was a
single-family structure with both a front and back yard. By todays standards it
was of modest size but for the time it was comfortable.
Val’s boyhood years were uneventful and filled with the normal
neighborhood activities for the time. Val recalls the neighborhood boys
shooting pool in one of their basements and Val would remain a pretty good pool
player later in life. He attended Camden Catholic High School where he was an
excellent student particularly excelling in math. His high school yearbook has
a quote of him saying, “that ain’t right”, apparently noting his penchant for
recognizing when an answer was incorrect. Clearly his math abilities exceeded
his grammar skills. In more current times he would certainly have gone on to
college but times were different then.
Val had grown into a young man of slightly above average height with
dark wavy hair worn in a small pompadour. His extremely thin build earned him
the nickname, ‘Blade’, a moniker that did not survive high school.
After high school he worked at several different jobs eventually working
as a mechanic at Ace Motors. Val was always good with his hands in addition to
being book smart and throughout his life, until the advent of circuits and
transistors, he was capable of fixing just about anything. He did all the
repair work on his cars, lawn mowers, washers, toasters televisions and just
about anything else. My dad particularly remembers Val having the black and
white TV apart and making repeated trips to the hardware with tubes to be
tested in the tube tester. Calling a repairman or buying a new item was an
absolutely last resort.
But I am getting a little ahead of the story. Sometime around 1949 Val
was introduced through a mutual friend to Harriet (Lynn) Agin. It was an event
that would be life changing for both of them. Val was a shy young man and
though the subject has never been discussed it is probably safe to assume that
his experience with the opposite sex was limited. But when it came to Harriet
he overcame any hesitancy and made his interest known.
Harriet had been orphaned at the age of twelve and and after living with
several relatives had been on her own six the age of sixteen. She prided
herself on her morality and independence and perhaps Val’s respectful demeanor
and conduct attracted her to him. Certainly Val was no fast talker looking for
a short-term relationship. After dating for about a year they were engaged to
be married. They set a wedding date for June, 1951 and then circumstances
intervened. Val was drafted into the Army and ordered to report in May. A
wedding dress had been ordered and plans made. Val’s deployment was to be for
two years so the couple was faced with a decision whether to postpone the
wedding or move it to an earlier date—knowing that if they moved it up they
would be separated for most of the first two years of their marriage. They
decided to move the wedding to May 12, 1951 and rearrange other plans. They
took the train to New York City for their honeymoon and two days later Val went
to military basic training.
Val served for two years in the Army sailing on a ship to Europe where
he was stationed in Germany and The Netherlands. After his discharge Val and
Harriet began their married life in a small apartment in Camden, New Jersey.
Several years later they welcomed their first (and favorite) child—my dad Gary.
In 1957 when they were expecting their second child the moved to the home that
they would occupy for the next sixty years. Oak Valley was a Levittown style
community of tract homes. Along with millions of others they were part of the
post war exodus to the suburbs. The three bedroom, one bath house would
eventually be home for themselves and their three children. Val and his father
built the detached garage themselves. It turned out to be an excellent place to
raise a family.
After working at Ace Motors Val was successful in getting a job with the
railroad, which would later, be named Conrail. He was a clerk who worked in
many of the depots which dotted the small town along the the tracks in South
Jersey. His job generally consisted of scheduling and directing railcars to and
from the various industries in the area. Val says that he liked his job though
he never spoke much about it. He rarely talked about any problems or successes
related to the job, nor discussed or complained about anyone he worked with.
Yet at times there had to have been some severe work related stress. For the
entire thirty five years until his retirement that Val worked for Conrail the
railroad was in a constant state of contraction and consolidation. Depots were
being closed, staff was being reduced, computers were dramatically changing the
way work was done and Val was in a race to stay one step ahead of the layoffs,
sometimes resulting in lengthy commutes. He successfully made it to retirement
but not before having to work the last couple of years in the city, do his job
on a computer. and commute on the high speed line. The railroad may have been
more of a job than a career, and it certainly did not define who he was, but he
approached it with diligence and derived some measure of satisfaction from it.
Val absolutely never missed work other than the few times he was hospitalized.
No doubt it was partly due to the necessity of a paycheck but mostly it was
just a deeply ingrained sense of responsibility and dependability.
When it came to finances you could not find a more responsible person
than Val. He always handled the family finances and once a month he would sit
at the kitchen table with his bill drawer and pay the bills. His temper could
be triggered by an unexpectedly high telephone bill, Harriet making along
distance call, or some other bill. His railroad job was relatively secure by
was not high paying. He had a budget and lived within it. No second mortgages,
credit line or something other than a J.C. Penney’s credit card. He did not
even have a major credit card for an airline ticket until well after he
retired. It never mattered to him if the neighbors had a new car, pool and
something else. If he couldn’t afford it he did not buy it.
Val’s responsibility and dependability were all reflections of his love
for his wife and family. Like his own parents he was not demonstrative or one
to verbalize feelings. However, one would have to be blind not to see how
deeply he cared as reflected in his actions. Nothing was too much trouble and
if it was within his power he would make it happen.
At the same time Val was not one to offer advise. Everyone was given the
space to make their own decisions and, yes, their own mistakes. He was always
there for support but without ever saying “I told you so” - partly because he
rarely told you so before the fact. But if you watched what he did rather than
wait for him to say it you would get a pretty good idea how you should proceed.
Val was certainly not an adventurer but he was also not afraid of trying
new things. He joined the local volunteer fire company and served as President
for several years. At one point he was in charge of the rental hall where
weddings and other affairs were held. When there was an event the hall would
have to be prepared - tables and chairs set, floor swept and mopped,
decorations, et cetera - and then cleaned up after the event. The affair would
also require bartenders who were compensated for their time. As a boy my father
would sometimes help with the hall preparations. He recounts how many, many
times no one showed up for the preparation, and left before the clean up, but
they never had any trouble getting bartenders. Val never mentioned or
complained about this all too common human tendency. He did what he agreed to
do without complaint or desire for credit. In every aspect of his life if he
said he would do something you would never have to ask if it was done - you
could be guaranteed it was complete.
Val, with the encouragement of Harriet, blossomed as he aged. They took
up dancing and for many years would enjoy an evening out to dance and
socialize. For the shy, introvert this activity had to out of his comfort zone.
Val was quiet by nature and was not one to initiate conversation. He was
a listener more than he was a talker. Harriet did the talking for both of them.
Val did not force his opinions on anyone, family, friends or strangers. Whether
it was about politics, religion or lifestyle Val was about as tolerant as one
can get. Though he born into a world with very different values and practices,
both good and bad, he was flexible enough to accept without too much anxiety
the many changes in society that have occurred over the years.
After he retired Val really stepped outside of himself when he ran for,
and was elected, to the Township Council. A private person has assumed a very
public position. He enjoyed his duties as Councilman even if the political
environment was not who he really was. In his world ideas succeed on their
merits and a difference of opinion between members of the same party was not
tantamount to disloyalty. His world and the world of politics were not entirely
compatible.
Val has lived to enjoy a lengthy retirement; to see his children grown
and successful; and his grandchildren become young adults. Together with his
wife they made a life for themselves that through good decisions and good
fortune has been filled with love and happiness.
I love my grandfather so much and I am so blessed to still have him in my life! :)
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